I’m not a writer. Never wanted to be. What I experienced allows me to put my thoughts on paper. At least I’ll try. I’ll do my best to express the emption that went through people I made contacts with. But what it boils down to is my perspective of the people I met, and how I ended up feeling inside.
I’m hoping that the words that I used and how I use them might ring a bell to those who have had similar experiences. To those who are having a difficult time adjusting to the world: I feel for you. It’s impossible to change what happened, but let me tell you, your former enemies do not hate you. They know why you were there. They don’t blame you. They want to be your friends now.
Remember your DI telling you why you had to train so hard? Respect. Respect your enemies because they’re training as hard as you are so that he can kill you. Remember that? Well, the killing has stopped. It’s been done, gone for a long time now. But respect is still there by the ton. From those who were there, at least. So we have to respect them as well. Now I don’t care what you saw, because they lost way more than we did. Atrocities you say? Remember what you were told: “use extreme prejudice”. They had to use it, to. IT WAS WAR. But it’s over now. Stand down. And I know, it still continues in your mind. Sometimes it goes on in my mind as well.
I have a suggestion, go back in your mind and respect your enemies. The enemies didn’t fail you. They did what they had to do and you did what you had to do. – That should allow you to respect yourself, too. Although the military and your government may have failed you, don’t fail yourself. You did what you had to do. And more and more people of your country are starting to realize what a FUBAR they had created. People are starting to get embarrassed because they realize it was a mistake.
For those who spat on you and called you names, they known know what went on, they weren’t there. They weren’t facing a formidable enemy that commanded respect at the end of the your rifle. They were stupid. They’re starting to realize that.
You need to go on your one last mission: Go collect yourself, get all your gear, get all your shit in one bag, and get your act right and go seek the help you need. Share your stories when you can and don’t let your legacy die in vain.